random

next week i'll start working on campus part time. that's awesome but unfortunately not a full time position so i'll still be looking for something full time. school is definitely going to kick my ass this semester, but i really am ready for it.

oh yeah and i'm under the 200 day mark for days left before the wedding. specifically 196 days left.

lol i totally have like halted planning because i've been out of it. one thing is for sure though, we are definitely cutting the guest list and having a smaller and more private wedding. i hope people can understand that.

Todd and I went to dinner with Ania and Mike last Friday and then over to their apartment where Todd fell in love with their dog Milo. They're moving to California so it looks like Todd and I will have to make some trips out that way. Such a bummer because they're such awesome people. I'll totally miss them.

I need to sleep now.

roll out the stretcher and make me feel better...

yesterday was the first day of classes since i changed schools and went back to my original major. i dont even really know why i left nursing & tried to go into computers in the first place. i think it had to do with the fact that i've always wanted to be a forensic nurse but always felt like it was too "out there" since i had a hell of a time finding a reputable graduate program for that specific thing.

well it turns out that UMSL has one in the works. I talked to the Assistant Professor and MSN Program Coordinator and she gave me some very excited and motivating information regarding the graduate forensic nursing program they're working on. it'll be a few years until they enroll the first class if they do get the program [which she mentioned she was confident they would because of a great response] which is totally fine and works in my favor since it's definitely still going to be a few years until i'm finished with my BSN.

Todd's so encouraging too of course. last week he made a little comment of "im glad you're doing this" and i dont know, for some reason inside it really made me feel good because i knew [not that i didnt know before] that he really will support me in anything i want to do.

fucking awesome

you know, today was really a great day.

boring sunday

wow i feel like there is nothing to do at all. I mean there totally is shit I could be doing, but I just dont even really feel like it. Todd is asleep and I'm kind of surprised I'm not.

So my sister and Shawn bought plane tickets to come up here in October! I am SO excited. I am crossing my fingers that my dad and stepmom will come. I know my stepmom might not be able to come because the kids have a lot going on and plus I dont think they'll want to be away from her for long. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they both come, or maybe if not at least my dad. I'm not sure that will work though.

Chicago in less than a month to see Matt Pryor. I am really looking forward to that. We were supposed to be going up there this Friday but it looks like we wont be doing that now. I know Todd's kind of bummed which sucks but shit happens.

Sundays are stupid

i need new shoes too

I've been playing a lot of Call of Duty 4. I suck so bad though. I'm KIND OF getting better, but ehhh I am just not really used to xbox controllers. There are too many goddamn buttons.

Life is not super interesting right now, but I am getting the list together for the Penthouse Suite at the Blues game in October. We have someone flying in from California for that weekend and also [possibly] 3 people flying in from Florida. I have also been making the selection from people here in St. Louis that I think would enjoy it and appreciate it. There are still a few tickets left that we'll need to give out, but I'm holding off on who to invite with them. We'll see what happens.

I really, really, really need to get on a different sleep schedule. This is seriously becoming too much and something that is causing more harm than good. fuck.

ALSO!

Matt Pryor's solo album Confidence Man is so fucking good. If you love Matt Pryor or any of his projects you have to listen to it. It's just got such an amazing feel to it.

It's an album that I listen to and really appreciate, and as much as I love music - it's still rare for me to really feel records sometimes. This one I do for sure.


BUY IT.

Todd and I are going to see his 2 Chicago shows in September [so much Chicago, so little time haha- this month & next month woo] and I am SO SO SO fucking excited.

random talk

Todd and I were talking today about how we act together and what not and I said something like "it would be really weird if one of us fell out of love with the other" [because a lot of times we act so silly [for lack of better word] with each other that i could see it being really annoying in some instances. we just end up laughing the majority of the time] but he made a really great point when he said "It would be completely obvious though" And he's right. There is just this type of chemistry [i know it sounds dumb] but it's just there and if one of us stopped loving the other it would be so obvious because of body language and just the way we act. It's both terrifying and reassuring at the same time. I of course hate the idea of it happening [but I'm a realist I know anything can happen] but it's reassuring in the way of not having to worry "does he/she love me?" and mixed signals and stuff. I wonder if this makes any sense. Whatever.

Chicago in a few weeks and school a couple days after that. I am thinking about picking up another class but I'm not sure at this point. I dont want to overload myself, but the thought of 1 more class being out of the way is a nice thought.

I know this isnt my wedding blog or anything but i think i officially decided on a wedding band i want.


It's a white gold band with aquamarine stones instead of the normal diamond stones for an eternity band. I really like this because 1. aquamarine is the March birthstone and since we're getting married in March i like the idea of that and 2. I'm not big on diamonds anyway. My engagement ring is a diamond solitaire and i love it's simplicity but I'm not sure if i want to add more diamonds to the look. I think the look of this band on each side of the solitaire would look really cute and more me. Who cares if it's not traditional diamonds. I tried to photoshop a picture of what my ring would look like with this band on each side of it but it came out shitty because i dont know photoshop so whatever. Imaginations will have to do for now haha.

I think i might get to sleep at a normal hour tonight. Todd is off work tomorrow so yay for that. We were going to go see Lewis black but figured we'd save that money for other things.

yeahhhh

haha riiiiight

[[i have way to much fucking time on my hands at night]]


Stolen from Laura.

Rules/Instructions/How Tos....
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it makes you look.

got it? ok, let's go:


IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
She Take's It So Well - Hot Water Music

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Sickening - The Loved Ones

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Old Friend - Blacklisted

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Soldier - The Slackers

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Is There a Way Out - The Get Up Kids

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Depression - Black Flag

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
The Nurse - The Slackers

WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT?
Straightjacket Weather - Cadillac Blindside

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Drug-Stabbing Time - The Clash

WHATS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Runaway - Pink

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Turn Out The Lights- The New Amsterdams

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Don't Hate Me - The Get Up Kids

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Not doing this one because I'm too tempted to rig it.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Minute - The Lawrence Arms

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Ghost Story - Sinking Ships

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Got Caught - Mu330

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Suckerpunched - Dumptruck

WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS?
Failure's Not Flattering - New Found Glory

say what?

someone once told me there was no point in being nice because people would A) take advantage of you, B)think you had ulterior motives behind it, or C) assume you're not genuine.

i believed it for a while, and still do in a way but probably just dont care as much. i spent many many years being so miserable that i treated everyone around me like shit.

it got me nowhere. Being nice doesnt exactly get me places, but at least I feel better about who I am.

However, this doesnt mean you have to be nice to everyone in the world obviously, but you get the point.

you live and you learn.

game night

Todd and I bought a game last night that is so so so funny. It's called Dirty Minds and it's not like some sexified game or anything like that. I mean seriously, we bought it from Barnes & Noble. But if you have a dirty mind it makes it so hilarious.

Basically you get 3 clues that sound dirty and you have to try and guess what the word is, but the word is totally not even anything dirty.

For example here's one that Todd actually guessed right:

-You never know when I'm going to come.
-I last a long time when conditions are right.
-You never know how many inches you'll get.

Answer: Snowstorm

We live an exciting life apparently. Whatever board games rule. At least we were laughing our asses off the entire time.

:]

it's really pretty amazing how a simple unexpected sentence can really brighten a mood.

it's very much appreciated.

is the view of who i am really that far off?

what is the deal with this week?

i want to go back to 2 weeks ago when i wasnt questioning a damn thing.

mamadada

i enjoyed reading this.

i really wish people could just accept that not everyone wants kids and that it doesnt make you "weird". It would also be nice if people could understand that not being a mother does NOT make you less of a woman.

however, i would like to say that i have the cutest nephews ever and some of my friends have the most adorable kids. i am no child hater.