it's personal this time

i came in here to try and write something about what i was thinking, but i feel like i have no words. i feel bothered, stressed, worried, and frustrated about things that i'm normally very understanding of[difference of opinion for example]. 8 years ago i didnt really know anything, but did what i was supposed to. 4 years ago i didnt give a shit, and didnt do anything about it because i felt like it didnt matter anyway. this year i care, and i care a lot more than i thought i would. maybe now that i'm 26 instead of 18 i want to understand more. besides, i feel like this time, for me, there is much more at stake.

i feel kind of lost and don't really know how to fix that.